Children in the Montessori classroom are given the wonderful gift of time. They enter into a space every day where the clock and the adults' agenda no longer rule their lives. They are able to explore their surroundings, experience with their many senses, practice skills, and take time to just observe. They are at ease and able to express who they are. They take in the whole, see how they begin to fit into their community, and discover the wonders of the culture in which they live.

Many parents have asked how to implement these ideas at home, especially during school breaks and on major holidays. These are often times of stress for families with young children, who have experienced these "once a year" events maybe twice so far in their lives. Then there's Winter Break, right after having settled into the school routine! There are so many changes - from varied celebrations, festive foods, incoming visitors, travels, or just time home without school. These changes can be stressful for the parents, caretakers as well as children. Changing the adult mindset from a sense of dread to an appreciation of these magical opportunities helps make these transitions for the young child a memorable time. The key is routine.

Children under the age of six understand and feel comfortable with learning about their world through routine. They can predict what will happen next, easing any anxiety of the unknown. Many children have just gone through the transition process of starting school for the first time. You may still remember how your child may have shown some outbursts and wonder if they would ever make it through a full morning without tears. (They did.) Once they became secure in the routine and understood that, after the school day, they would go home, most days began rather pleasantly.

Keep this mindset of having a transition period during these longer breaks from school. What are the vital elements to your family's routine? Usually it surrounds waking up, going to sleep, eating meals, and toileting. Break those activities down into small components by thinking about what your child needs in order to stay "put together" despite the numerous distractions. Then turn them loose with your blessings and present them with the gift of time to explore freely, to play/work, and to try and struggle.

To explore freely: As much as it's your need to have a plan for those days, free up lots of time for your child to explore. Telling the story of the "different day" and what to expect, be it a trip or a beloved uncle coming to visit, will prime the child to expect that something is new. Many celebratory holidays introduce new foods, music, and ways to be together. What smells, sights, tastes, textures, and sounds are peculiar to your family? Let them have at it.

To play: Even with any routine, there should be time for the child to just be and freely play. This play can be with toys, helping with chores around the house, baking, decorating, or creating music. Be present. Make it a conscious effort to take only a few photos and then focus your efforts on spending time with each other. When you are fully engaged with your child, they will respond with engagement and less distraction.

To try and struggle: With the challenges of a new or unfamiliar routine comes struggle, and with struggle comes learning. Set up the house so your child can try to light a candle, water the tree, hang the ornaments, turn the music box handle. When you allow for such independence, your child gains self-respect and problem-solving confidence. Let the accomplishment be the child's; resist the urge to say "good job".

When you spend time together, you show your child that they are valued and that they are part of this family. So, work on a project together, read together, sing together. Talk about the animals, plants, or art of your festivities. All these little nuggets get stored and become a part of the children's being. As they continue to experience each year the holidays and subsequent breaks from school, they will start to internalize these traditions. They begin to anticipate and look forward to them with positive feelings. When the deep cleaning starts before the grandparents arrive or when the candles are displayed right before the celebrations, that's a signal of what's coming up. The games, books, and music that are associated with the holidays become treasured.

If children were given the gift of time to just take it all in, those memories become a spark of joy and excitement, deepening those most precious bonds. And if you take the time to do this for your children, you may also learn how to enjoy more and stress less about those times. Having a more relaxed schedule, leaving space between activities (just in case one ends up taking longer than expected) will cause less stress on your child and less stress on you.

When you find meaning in your own family values, you are able to share easily. What you parse out to your children will help them develop healthy attitudes towards holidays (read: less stressed) and will shape who they become. Give that gift of time - in all its facets - it doesn't cost much. Then marvel at the beaming joy on your child's face. Happy Holidays.

Sincerely,

Nicole Barba

Sassafras Toddler Teacher